There’s always been this small devilish desire at the back of my mind since long!!....My reading “The Bin Laden Story – Steve Coll” and the bombarding of the Satyam story on all news channel have actually left me inspired as never before…
Mr. Ramalinga Raju has achieved what every youth today dreams off! Who doesn’t dream of being a billionaire and the kind of fame he’s enjoying!!....The paparazzi follow him everywhere and every move he makes becomes national headlines. His arrest has given oxygen to many news channels providing them with fodder for weeks to come to the otherwise depressing news that everyone was been carrying post New Years!! The purpose of putting this blog has been to seek partners in a new venture which I’m planning to roll out soon.
We would probably give this venture a name synonymous with “Truth” and call it Truthbiz or something…..and the truth would stop at its name only. We have no idea what our area of work would be, so lets call it a consultancy firm for now!!. But, one thing is for sure we would make everything look big. Real big!!
To begin with we would have a recruitment policy …where in only women with big assests would be shortlisted and we give special preference to women who can make mountains out of molehills..
The first employee I have on board as honorary non executive chairman would be
Mr. Ramalinga Raju. His wealth would be a few thousand crores less considering that he has to pay our politicians, police and all other powers to be to get out of the situation he is right now in. As an incentive, I would announce to the media double the amount he actually invests in my new venture.He would grace the board with his expertise of inflating all balance sheets and the likes. His friends in the political world would help me acquire a few hundred acres of land at a throw away price, in exchange, I would sponsor their campaigns, holidays abroad, trusts etc
What if I get caught on the wrong side of the law???....well, firstly, I would call a press conference, completely deny the whole story as a ploy to defame me for cheap publicity. When I finally realize that nothing is working, I would hire a high profile lawyer to represent me…Even if that doesn’t work, I would finally surrender and surrender how!!!
Surrendering to the local cops should be a complete event to remember, I plan to hire a PR agency and an event company to ensure it’s a grand success!!...I would probably wear an Armani suit, jumbo Police glares and have my cavalcade of 5 Mercs for the trip. I would decide on whether to hire private security guard depending upon the assurance given by the police commissioner!!
Since I’m a heart patient, my blood pressure would certainly rise once in jail, so I would arrange for a Benz van to drive me down to the closest hospital.( read Lilavati or a Jaslok) My high profile lawyer would ensure I have a 42 inch plasma, food home cooked food ( read Taj) and a couple of books and DVD’s which are a part of my private collection.
I would hope to stay in this “hospital” for about a year or so, before getting bail. During this period I would try art of living and ensure that the media gets a wind of my new avatar!!...
A week prior to my release I would hire the same event agency and PR agency to ensure I’m back with a bang!!
Once out, I would prepare a press release which would subtly suggest my intentions of joining a political party. If my political career fails to take off, I would probably participate in a reality show…If I fail to win the reality show, I would still manage to marry a fellow participant, maybe a disgraced Bollywood actress (Monicaaa….oh my dahlin!!!)
If none of the above plans work out, I could still look out for like minded young people to whom I could serve as venture capitalists just like Mr. Ramalinga Raju did to my career.
So guys!!....which damn B school in the world could guarantee you the kind of success and recognition I’m assuring you off….If you guys are on the same page please send in your contact details with the monies you are ready to put in my new venture…
Pls don’t inflate the amount now; I’ll do it myself....
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Friday, October 3, 2008
The other religion....
Woooooo…the flame colored malpuas stare at you from the mesh on the vessel tempting you to no end. Before you decide to order a portion, the aroma of kebabs and biryani from the adjacent shop makes you all insatiablely hungry again… The quawalli blaring from a loudspeaker fitted just above a green satin banner with an inscription in jazzy gold Urdu text hanging over a travel agency shop on the other side of the street completely in sync with the festive atmosphere...well, this isn’t a narration from Khaled Hosseini's forthcoming novel but a picturesque scene on our very own Mohammed Ali Rd when its time to break roja a day before Eid and the feast that continues till dawn… The holy month of roja, the five times namaaz's and the feast thereafter really fascinates me…actually the glutton in me is more fascinated by the evening feasts!!
It’s sometimes difficult to digest the fact that a few people of this same community could be party to the recent heinous terrorists attacks across the country. What prompts a mind to kill innocent wives and children? How can a well educated mind be brainwashed to engineer such dangerous crimes!!
Its no rocket science…a human mind can be best brainwashed when its low and vulnerable and the people who are instrumental in making them vulnerable are none other than “we” the society as a whole. Youth from lower middle class families who are unemployed and illiterate are made to believe that its their faith and religious origins that is responsible for their plight.
For me, the SIMI, Laskhar E Toiba or the Indian Mujahideen is in the same league as the Bajrang Dal or VHP….
The motive of all the above mentioned organizations is quite simple; direct vulnerable minds to fulfill their insane ideas for personal gains and use the poor and illiterate as puppets.
The whole idea of putting up this article is to request everyone around to be more receptive towards this beautiful and culturally rich community and without viewing them with a needle of suspicion and holding hands and investigating and solving problems like terrorists attacks in a more rational and scientific way.
Also, not many of us are aware that studies have shown about 60% of the worlds Muslim population, religiously contributes 2.4% of their annual wealth to charity. Is it sheer coincidence that the navratri week and the Eid festivities fall on the same dates this year or is it a divine intervention trying to convey a message…..your guess is as good as mine!!!
It’s sometimes difficult to digest the fact that a few people of this same community could be party to the recent heinous terrorists attacks across the country. What prompts a mind to kill innocent wives and children? How can a well educated mind be brainwashed to engineer such dangerous crimes!!
Its no rocket science…a human mind can be best brainwashed when its low and vulnerable and the people who are instrumental in making them vulnerable are none other than “we” the society as a whole. Youth from lower middle class families who are unemployed and illiterate are made to believe that its their faith and religious origins that is responsible for their plight.
For me, the SIMI, Laskhar E Toiba or the Indian Mujahideen is in the same league as the Bajrang Dal or VHP….
The motive of all the above mentioned organizations is quite simple; direct vulnerable minds to fulfill their insane ideas for personal gains and use the poor and illiterate as puppets.
The whole idea of putting up this article is to request everyone around to be more receptive towards this beautiful and culturally rich community and without viewing them with a needle of suspicion and holding hands and investigating and solving problems like terrorists attacks in a more rational and scientific way.
Also, not many of us are aware that studies have shown about 60% of the worlds Muslim population, religiously contributes 2.4% of their annual wealth to charity. Is it sheer coincidence that the navratri week and the Eid festivities fall on the same dates this year or is it a divine intervention trying to convey a message…..your guess is as good as mine!!!
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Introducing my bullshit...
Hey….so finally I have started blogging!!.....and couldn’t find a better way by putting it up on a day when its pouring and the weather is just apt for writing something sensible which is very rare in my case!!....For me, Sundays have always been weird, most of the day is spent in pulling myself from the bed and when I manage this great feat, I realize its time for us to go to “church”…The “us” in question is a bunch of great spiritual souls. Our spirituality today has reached another level altogether where we can actually run a parallel faith strong enough to give our local church a run for their money.
To begin with, our founder member Mr. Dylan!!
The man founded this great faith in on an auspicious day a decade ago (I was a little tipsy to remember the date then). Actually Dylan has always been the spiritual types, like he spends quality time below the tree and talks to someone whom we are yet to meet. Then, there have been instances where this same “someone” calls him and he goes to the outskirts of Orlem to answer this divine call!!
Going back to our holy faith, at first, it was just him and Bryan Aranha, the son of the illustrious Sir Aranha from St. Annes High, currently living happily ever after with a family in thane (forgive the soldier….that’s his status every weekend)…They lit small white candles (holy cigarettes) every weekend and since then, as they say there has been no looking back!!..Alex, Reuben, myself and a whole lot of inspired souls soon joined in and it just got bigger and bigger…
Mr. Reuben, the man from the royal East Indian Bent family, uses his East Indian masala with lethal effect!!...he actually juggles between the local church and us depending upon the schedule of the blessed angels…hehehehe…complete "babechor", please don’t ever introduce your women to him, you’ll soon be single again…has a famous past of kissing the wrong girl!!!...oops
Osborne...the only sane person as of today in our faith.....his one liners weakens the female species...witty, spontaneous and always running home to answer someones call at 9 pm every night....we'll find out whose the mysterious one soon.... The saying " Snake in the grass" defines him the best.
How can I forget Kristoff…..did god make Kristoff or did he make god…..the man carries the IIT and IIM degrees so easily as anyone whose just passes out of high school!!...hes our supernatural Hancock…”good job good job”
Alex is the reason behind Vodafone's sudden decision to cut all calls and message tariffs…the senior management thought it was wiser to cut call rates than waste a process fighting Alex on – line!!
As for me, I just love my drink..and yes i never get high..its just that I'm always tipsy!!
Well that’s a little about our holy faith which started out at “St. Bajrangs”, where the priory members of the faith meet often to get spiritually high in the chapel below Reuben’s apartment where you’ll find a keystone always stocked with the holy water!!
If none of the above is not making sense to you, don’t worry it’s quite normal because I rarely make sense.
Cheers to the royal stags!!
Bombii
To begin with, our founder member Mr. Dylan!!
The man founded this great faith in on an auspicious day a decade ago (I was a little tipsy to remember the date then). Actually Dylan has always been the spiritual types, like he spends quality time below the tree and talks to someone whom we are yet to meet. Then, there have been instances where this same “someone” calls him and he goes to the outskirts of Orlem to answer this divine call!!
Going back to our holy faith, at first, it was just him and Bryan Aranha, the son of the illustrious Sir Aranha from St. Annes High, currently living happily ever after with a family in thane (forgive the soldier….that’s his status every weekend)…They lit small white candles (holy cigarettes) every weekend and since then, as they say there has been no looking back!!..Alex, Reuben, myself and a whole lot of inspired souls soon joined in and it just got bigger and bigger…
Mr. Reuben, the man from the royal East Indian Bent family, uses his East Indian masala with lethal effect!!...he actually juggles between the local church and us depending upon the schedule of the blessed angels…hehehehe…complete "babechor", please don’t ever introduce your women to him, you’ll soon be single again…has a famous past of kissing the wrong girl!!!...oops
Osborne...the only sane person as of today in our faith.....his one liners weakens the female species...witty, spontaneous and always running home to answer someones call at 9 pm every night....we'll find out whose the mysterious one soon.... The saying " Snake in the grass" defines him the best.
How can I forget Kristoff…..did god make Kristoff or did he make god…..the man carries the IIT and IIM degrees so easily as anyone whose just passes out of high school!!...hes our supernatural Hancock…”good job good job”
Alex is the reason behind Vodafone's sudden decision to cut all calls and message tariffs…the senior management thought it was wiser to cut call rates than waste a process fighting Alex on – line!!
As for me, I just love my drink..and yes i never get high..its just that I'm always tipsy!!
Well that’s a little about our holy faith which started out at “St. Bajrangs”, where the priory members of the faith meet often to get spiritually high in the chapel below Reuben’s apartment where you’ll find a keystone always stocked with the holy water!!
If none of the above is not making sense to you, don’t worry it’s quite normal because I rarely make sense.
Cheers to the royal stags!!
Bombii
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