The Social Jack

So back to blogging after all the slogging. Okay, that’s still struggling to qualify for a joke!

So, I attend a party and after three drinks (or maybe four, who’s counting) I slurrishly smile at the bartender for the next round and I can sense this glare like unwanted attention. I turn around and there they are, staring like I just let the entire nation down by ordering another drink. The first thing that I thought of, was whether the zipper was open; thankfully not! So then I did what I do most often, Ignore!!

Can’t describe these folks, very special people. I call them the ‘Social Jacks’. Yeah the same folks, who keep following up aggressively on when you’re getting married. They are the ones who you would see boasting of some incident that you even doubted existed. You find them everywhere. They take it upon themselves to be socially responsible and invite themselves at most parties, family functions, office breaks, and make special appearances at weddings and funerals. Their responsibility extends to counting the number of drinks each one had at the party, measuring the depth of the cleavage or guessing whether a particular dude and the chick are dating. At funerals, they are holding a bucket collecting the tears, and then concluding the extent of the loss.

They have a constant ‘shocked’ look on their face. They can comfort you at any point of time, like they never missed an opportunity to ask you ‘hows married life’ if they are sure you’re going through a divorce or, even better ‘hows work’ when you just lost your job.

 Women, generally, think of Social Jacks more often. Whether it is their jeans going too low on the waist or the neckline going down, it’s always the Social jack that they think of in the situation. I have noticed a few women, after taking a long drag do a 360 degree glance and then exhale a victorious puff. The same reason why they prefer the vodka shots in steel glasses at sangeet ceremonies.

None of us care about the Social Jacks, yet everyone of us keep saying ‘I care a damn fuck about….’

 It’s just that Social Jacks gives you a feeling of Deja Fu (Deja Fu: ‘Oh fuck, what the fuck is he doing here’). The male species of Social Jacks are always cynical about most things and generally have very bad sex lives. The female species of Social Jacks gives you the impression that they are permanently on the wrong side of the month.

Just a tribute to the Social Jacks! Keep up the good work :)

Happy New Year..

So another year passes. More memories, more photo albums and definitely more weddings that have gone by!
If you haven’t guessed it yet, yes, my new year’s resolution has been to update the blog more regularly and here I’m kicking the ‘writer's block’ in the ass. Going by my reputation of following New Year resolutions, the block will get back to me sooner.
The year started off as just another year, without any plans or any goals, just a wandering numbhead. At times, when I hear conversations of plans for a set time frame, I find myself looking out of the window for some fresh air. I prefer the spontaneity, impulsiveness or rather I have just got so used to surprises, pleasant or otherwise!
Coming back to the year, life was on as usual. Monday to Friday saw clients asking weirder questions with even unreasonable demands, and me, I just got more hard skinned and learnt the art of indirectly saying FO with the right adjectives with even better framed sentences. The weekends started with a pint on a Saturday evening, and figuring how it ended on a Sunday afternoon!
Goodbyes are sad and for the first time in many years, I felt shit. No, I didn’t breakup with anyone (that would have been refreshing :P)
This was the year of Weddings! So many of them, that I started believing that you could get partners on sale at Hypercity! Maybe fresh air doesn’t go well with everyone :p
Anyways, more weddings meant more bachelor parties, the birthdays meant even more parties and finally it was the December. Decembers are always the same for any year. Just that this December, I’m sure I did all I could to revive Kingfisher, its high time they read the blog and help us with some free air tickets to Goa or maybe a few free drinks coupons or whatever..!
To sum it up, it was an ‘ okay’ year, old friends came closer, few close friends drifted away and so on. But, then when you have two alphabets ‘F’ and ‘O’ put together, the rest of the alphabets and conversations hardly mind. Wish they thought us to say ‘FO’ in school itself, life would have been so much more comforting ;)
So, in line with the New Years resolution, this space is going to be updated more often. More nasty, cheaper and less diplomatic ;)

Happy New Years people!