Since my oldest memories of sugary modaks, I remember being told, that, you were powerful like all other gods and you had a solution to every problem just like the rest of the gods. It didn’t make sense to me then, but blindly followed you because it meant modaks, a holiday and wearing new clothes. That went on till a few years and soon I liked your elephant headed face, the power it yielded, and the euphoria that came along and lived on for 11 long days not forgetting the holiday we got on the last day of your immersion. In many ways, your arrival throws open the festive season followed by Eid, Navratri, birthdays (most of my closest friends birthdays since school have their birthdays between Oct – Jan), Christmas and then New Years!
On many occasions, I felt you were standing right next to me, like during the Christmas eve mass, just that your bubbly beautiful elephant headed face looked very matured with the long robe, unshaven look with the long beard. The depth of the pain in the eyes scared me then; I prefer your bubbly pink colored elephant headed royal persona. Life was at its interesting best, alternating the best and worse times. Adolescence bought a lot of changes, the good and the bad was now subjective, the challenges and obstacles more real. A tough situation, a failed challenge made me question your existence. You didn’t react, but merely smiled, as if waiting to welcome the prodigal son back. Whenever I visit Siddhi Vinayak, I make a list of things to pray for and the moment I’m in front of the you, I go speechless, bow and before I can look up again, the crowd has already pushed me out. Dad wasn’t even close to religious but made an occasional trip to Siddhi Vinayak. I prayed in vain for his life, but then I guess life and death is beyond prayer. Every year, I visit you during your annual trip to our place, mutter and grumble a bit with you in “English” and you smile calmly and show the way, sometimes it’s a cakewalk and at times it’s a bumpy ride. I proudly say that’s my only connection or level of spirituality, simple and candid. Yet today, as life stares in front of me, amidst all my selfish and materialistic cravings, you define what the dictionary calls ‘confidence’
As the drum beats louder and procession noises come closer welcoming you into yet another year, the least I can do is shout out …Ganpati Bappa Moryaa!
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