There’s always been this small devilish desire at the back of my mind since long!!....My reading “The Bin Laden Story – Steve Coll” and the bombarding of the Satyam story on all news channel have actually left me inspired as never before…
Mr. Ramalinga Raju has achieved what every youth today dreams off! Who doesn’t dream of being a billionaire and the kind of fame he’s enjoying!!....The paparazzi follow him everywhere and every move he makes becomes national headlines. His arrest has given oxygen to many news channels providing them with fodder for weeks to come to the otherwise depressing news that everyone was been carrying post New Years!! The purpose of putting this blog has been to seek partners in a new venture which I’m planning to roll out soon.
We would probably give this venture a name synonymous with “Truth” and call it Truthbiz or something…..and the truth would stop at its name only. We have no idea what our area of work would be, so lets call it a consultancy firm for now!!. But, one thing is for sure we would make everything look big. Real big!!
To begin with we would have a recruitment policy …where in only women with big assests would be shortlisted and we give special preference to women who can make mountains out of molehills..
The first employee I have on board as honorary non executive chairman would be
Mr. Ramalinga Raju. His wealth would be a few thousand crores less considering that he has to pay our politicians, police and all other powers to be to get out of the situation he is right now in. As an incentive, I would announce to the media double the amount he actually invests in my new venture.He would grace the board with his expertise of inflating all balance sheets and the likes. His friends in the political world would help me acquire a few hundred acres of land at a throw away price, in exchange, I would sponsor their campaigns, holidays abroad, trusts etc
What if I get caught on the wrong side of the law???....well, firstly, I would call a press conference, completely deny the whole story as a ploy to defame me for cheap publicity. When I finally realize that nothing is working, I would hire a high profile lawyer to represent me…Even if that doesn’t work, I would finally surrender and surrender how!!!
Surrendering to the local cops should be a complete event to remember, I plan to hire a PR agency and an event company to ensure it’s a grand success!!...I would probably wear an Armani suit, jumbo Police glares and have my cavalcade of 5 Mercs for the trip. I would decide on whether to hire private security guard depending upon the assurance given by the police commissioner!!
Since I’m a heart patient, my blood pressure would certainly rise once in jail, so I would arrange for a Benz van to drive me down to the closest hospital.( read Lilavati or a Jaslok) My high profile lawyer would ensure I have a 42 inch plasma, food home cooked food ( read Taj) and a couple of books and DVD’s which are a part of my private collection.
I would hope to stay in this “hospital” for about a year or so, before getting bail. During this period I would try art of living and ensure that the media gets a wind of my new avatar!!...
A week prior to my release I would hire the same event agency and PR agency to ensure I’m back with a bang!!
Once out, I would prepare a press release which would subtly suggest my intentions of joining a political party. If my political career fails to take off, I would probably participate in a reality show…If I fail to win the reality show, I would still manage to marry a fellow participant, maybe a disgraced Bollywood actress (Monicaaa….oh my dahlin!!!)
If none of the above plans work out, I could still look out for like minded young people to whom I could serve as venture capitalists just like Mr. Ramalinga Raju did to my career.
So guys!!....which damn B school in the world could guarantee you the kind of success and recognition I’m assuring you off….If you guys are on the same page please send in your contact details with the monies you are ready to put in my new venture…
Pls don’t inflate the amount now; I’ll do it myself....
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3 comments:
Hey Bombi,
I don't know if this post is one of sarcasm, towards the whole satyam saga or if your actually serious about starting off on this path of ill found wealth and glory.
The latter seems to be closer to the truth, considering that since the story broke out you have at least on 5 different occasions mentioned to me that we need to do something like this.
Anyways for the record, I would like to tell you, I wouldn't like any association with any such endeavors, that said Our friendship shouldn't be effected in anyway; cause probably once "truthbiz" reaches a Satyam like stature, I would be well placed in my career as a politician and we can definitely be of help to each other ;)
regards
Alexander
Jai Hind
and yes ...P.S " THIS PIECE you;ve written should may i suggest be aptly named " Confession's of a DEMENTED kind "" naah u don't have to thank me ..this im doing for u in good faith :P
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