Friday, May 4, 2012

The Social Jack

So back to blogging after all the slogging. Okay, that’s still struggling to qualify for a joke!

So, I attend a party and after three drinks (or maybe four, who’s counting) I slurrishly smile at the bartender for the next round and I can sense this glare like unwanted attention. I turn around and there they are, staring like I just let the entire nation down by ordering another drink. The first thing that I thought of, was whether the zipper was open; thankfully not! So then I did what I do most often, Ignore!!

Can’t describe these folks, very special people. I call them the ‘Social Jacks’. Yeah the same folks, who keep following up aggressively on when you’re getting married. They are the ones who you would see boasting of some incident that you even doubted existed. You find them everywhere. They take it upon themselves to be socially responsible and invite themselves at most parties, family functions, office breaks, and make special appearances at weddings and funerals. Their responsibility extends to counting the number of drinks each one had at the party, measuring the depth of the cleavage or guessing whether a particular dude and the chick are dating. At funerals, they are holding a bucket collecting the tears, and then concluding the extent of the loss.

They have a constant ‘shocked’ look on their face. They can comfort you at any point of time, like they never missed an opportunity to ask you ‘hows married life’ if they are sure you’re going through a divorce or, even better ‘hows work’ when you just lost your job.

 Women, generally, think of Social Jacks more often. Whether it is their jeans going too low on the waist or the neckline going down, it’s always the Social jack that they think of in the situation. I have noticed a few women, after taking a long drag do a 360 degree glance and then exhale a victorious puff. The same reason why they prefer the vodka shots in steel glasses at sangeet ceremonies.

None of us care about the Social Jacks, yet everyone of us keep saying ‘I care a damn fuck about….’

 It’s just that Social Jacks gives you a feeling of Deja Fu (Deja Fu: ‘Oh fuck, what the fuck is he doing here’). The male species of Social Jacks are always cynical about most things and generally have very bad sex lives. The female species of Social Jacks gives you the impression that they are permanently on the wrong side of the month.

Just a tribute to the Social Jacks! Keep up the good work :)